PRESS RELEASE ON ATTACK OF FLOTILLA TO GAZA

PRESS RELEASE
Isnin 31hb Mei 2010

The Government of Malaysia is urged to condemn Israeli raid on the Lifeline4Gaza

humanitarian aid flotilla

Latest Development on the Lifeline4Gaza Flotilla

1. As have been widely publicised, the Lifeline4Gaza flotilla has come under attack by the

Israeli armed forces. Israeli aggressors have boarded the capital ship Mavi Marmara and open

fire resulting in 3 volunteers dead and more than 30 others seriously injured. Mavi Marmara

is one of the 7 strong flotilla enroute to Gaza to deliver the much awaited material aids to

the besieged people of Gaza. 

2. Twelve volunteers including media representatives from Malaysia is on board the capital

ship Mavi Marmara. Their participation is purely humanitarian in nature.

3. All the objectives and movement of the flotilla is in compliance with the UN Security

Council Resolution 1860 (2009) and all relevant maritime regulations. Resolution 1860 stated

among others:

a) Appeal for deliverance of humanitarian aid to Gaza including food, fuel and medical

assistance.
b) Urge efforts to ease passage and other mechanisms for the unimpeded deliverance of aids.
c) Call for all nations to support such efforts at the international level to alleviate the

dire humanitarian and economic situation in Gaza
d) condemns acts of agression and attacks on civilians and all forms of acts of terrorism.

Every Malaysian participants in the flotilla are holding fast to the international

regulations and laws and vow to uphold the goodname of Malaysia and our national

aspirations.

4. The flotilla is laden with 10,000 tonnes of material aid. Over 540 volunteers are on

board Mavi Marmara, including Parliamentarians, academics, journalists, scholars, an infant

less than a year old and a senior citizen over 80 years old. No weapons were brought in this

flotilla even for self defense which testifies to the wholly humanitarian nature of the

mission.

5. Based on these facts it is very clear indeed that Israel has violated international laws.

Whatmore the raid took place in international waters and on an unarmed aid ship on a

humanitarian mission. Israeli rash action deserve a worldwide condemnation in the strongest

possible term.

6. We appeal to the Government of Malaysia under the premiership of YAB Dato' Seri Mohd

Najib Tun Razak and Datin Seri Paduka Rosmah Mansor in her capacity as patron for the

Palestinian Aid Donations Drive to issue a statement condemning Israel for the murderous

aggression on a peaceful flotilla whose objective is to deliver aid to the beseiged people

of Gaza.

7. We call for the UN to convene an emergency assembly to pass a strong resolution against

Israel and to summon Israeli leaders to the international court of justice for crime against

humanity.

8. We call upon the Malaysians from all walks of life to express their utmost concern of the

grave situation and to be ready to respond to any need for action and calls for our support

in dealing with the incident.

9. We appeal to all political leaders, NGOs and the Malaysia people to join together in

coming to the aid of the volunteers. 

10. We also call upon every strata of the society to continue to supplicate and pray for the

success of this mission and the safety of the volunteers from further untoward incidence.

Zulkifli Mohd Nani
Chairman
Crises Management Team for LL4G Malaysia

Gaza aid flotilla attacked, two killed

misi relief aid ke Gaza yang disertai 50 negara inc. 8 Malaysian volunteers. They were attacked earlier today in the international water by the Israeli forces. 2 were killed,

http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=128420&sectionid=351020202

Israeli forces have attacked the international aid convoy Freedom Flotilla en route to the besieged Gaza Strip, killing at least two people and leaving more than 50 injured.

The attack came on Monday morning after one of the six ships in the convoy was hit by Israeli navy forces before being stormed by commandos descending from helicopters.

Israel had earlier deployed warships and threatened to stop the flotilla from reaching Gaza.

Israeli navy forces and helicopters have taken over the ships in the humanitarian aid convoy and are using force against those on board, a Press TV correspondent reported.

Israeli soldiers have also reportedly detained activists accompanying the convoy.

In Gaza, Palestine's democratically elected Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh strongly condemned the attack on the flotilla and called on the international community to protect the aid mission.

The convoy carries 10,000 tons of supplies and hundreds of politicians, activists and journalists.

The flotilla was seeking to break Israel's crippling blockade of Gaza and deliver basic necessities to the impoverished Palestinians in the coastal enclave.

Ten ways to build your child's self-esteem

by Sarah Henry Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

Nurturing your preschooler's self-esteem may seem like a hefty responsibility. After all, a feeling of self-worth lays the foundation for your preschooler's future as he sets out to try new things on his own. "Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we're capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile," says California family therapist Jane Nelsen, co-author of the Positive Discipline series.

"As any parent knows, self-esteem is a fleeting experience," says Nelsen. "Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don't. What we're really trying to teach our kids are life skills like resiliency." Your goal as a person is to ensure that your child develops pride and self-respect — in himself and in his cultural roots — as well as faith in his ability to handle life's challenges (for a preschooler that may mean copying capital letters accurately). Here are ten simple strategies to help boost your child's self-esteem:

Give unconditional love. A child's self-esteem flourishes with the kind of no-strings-attached devotion that says, "I love you, no matter who you are or what you do." Your child benefits the most when you accept him for who he is regardless of his strengths, difficulties, temperament, or abilities. So lavish him with love. Give him plenty of cuddles, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. And don't forget to tell him how much you love him. When you do have to correct your child, make it clear that it's his behavior — not him — that's unacceptable. For instance, instead of saying, "You're a naughty boy! Why can't you be good?" say, "Pushing Gabriel isn't nice. It can hurt. Please don't push."

Pay attention. Carve out time to give your preschooler your undivided attention. That does wonders for your child's self-worth because it sends the message that you think he's important and valuable. It doesn't have to take a lot of time; it just means taking a moment to stop flicking through the mail if he's trying to talk with you or turning off the TV long enough to answer a question. Make eye contact so it's clear that you're really listening to what he's saying. When you're strapped for time, let your child know it without ignoring his needs. Say, "Tell me all about the picture you drew, and then when you're finished, I'll need to make our dinner."

Teach limits. Establish a few reasonable rules for your preschooler. For instance, if you tell your child he has to eat his snack in the kitchen, don't let him wander around the family room with his crackers and fruit the next day. Or if you tell him to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, don't say it's okay to pile them on the floor. Knowing that certain family rules are set in stone will help him feel more secure. It may take constant repetition on your part, but he'll start to live by your expectations soon enough. Just be clear and consistent and show him that you trust him to do the right thing.

Support healthy risks. Encourage your child to explore something new, such as trying a different food, finding a best pal, or riding a bike. Though there's always the possibility of failure, without risk there's little opportunity for success. So let your child safely experiment, and resist the urge to intervene. For instance, try not to "rescue" him if he's showing mild frustration at figuring out a new toy. Even jumping in to say, "I'll do it" can foster dependence and diminish your child's confidence. You'll build his self-esteem by balancing your need to protect him with his need to tackle new tasks.

Let mistakes happen. The flip side, of course, of having choices and taking risks is that sometimes your child is bound to make mistakes. These are valuable lessons for your child's confidence. So if your child puts his plate too close to the edge of the table and it tips, encourage him to think about what he might do differently next time. That way his self-esteem won't sag and he'll understand that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. When you goof up yourself, admit it, says Daniel Meier, assistant professor of elementary education at San Francisco State University. Acknowledging and recovering from your mistakes sends a powerful message to your child — it makes it easier for your child to accept his own shortcomings.

Celebrate the positive. Everyone responds well to encouragement, so make an effort to acknowledge the good things your child does every day within his earshot. For instance, tell his dad, "Joshua washed all the vegetables for dinner." He'll get to bask in the glow of your praise and his dad's heartening response. And be specific. Instead of saying "Good job," say, "Thank you for waiting so patiently in line." This will enhance his sense of accomplishment and self-worth and let him know exactly what he did right.

Listen well. If your child needs to talk, stop and listen to what he has to say. He needs to know that his thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions matter. Help him get comfortable with his emotions by labeling them. Say, "I understand you're sad because you have to say bye to your school pals." By accepting his emotions without judgment, you validate his feelings and show that you value what he has to say. If you share your own feelings ("I'm excited about going to the zoo"), he'll gain confidence expressing his own.

Resist comparisons. Comments such as "Why can't you be more like your sister?" or "Why can't you be nice like Peter?" will just remind your child of where he struggles in a way that fosters shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as "You're the best player" are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image. If you let your child know you appreciate him for the unique individual he is, he'll be more likely to value himself too.

Offer empathy. If your child compares himself unfavorably to his siblings or peers ("Why can't I catch a ball like Sophia?"), show him empathy and then emphasize one of his strengths. For instance, say, "You're right. Sophia is good at catching. And you're good at painting pictures." This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that he doesn't have to be perfect to feel good about himself.

Provide encouragement. Every child needs the kind of support from loved ones that signals, "I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!" Encouragement means acknowledging progress — not just rewarding achievement. So if your preschooler is struggling to fasten his snaps, say, "You're trying very hard and you almost have it!" instead of "Not like that. Let me do it."

There's a difference between praise and encouragement. One rewards the task while the other rewards the person ("You did it!" rather than "I'm proud of you!"). Praise can make a child feel that he's only "good" if he does something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. "Tell me about your drawing. I see that you like purple" is more helpful than saying, "That's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen." Too much praise can sap self-esteem because it can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. So dole out the praise judiciously and offer encouragement liberally; it will your child grow up to feel good about himself.

The 90/10 Principle

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle
It will change your life (or at least, the way you react to situations) 
What is this Principle?
10% of life is made up
of what happens to you.
…90% of life is decided by
how you react…
What does this mean?

We really have NO control
over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
A driver may cut us off in the traffic.

We have NO control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%.

How?... By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light.
However, you can control your reaction.

Do not let people fool you.
YOU can control how you react.

Let us use an example…
You are having breakfast with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
Onto your business shirt.

You have no control over what has just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react

You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears.

After scolding her, you turn to your wife
and you criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table.
A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school.
She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.
Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D”

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.

How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffe splashes over you.
Your daughter is about to cry.

You gently say:
“It’s okay, honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”

Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through
the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same.
Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you reacted.

You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life.
The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle.

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass.
You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.

React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in the traffic?

Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel? (a friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off),
Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Who cares if you arrive 10 seconds later at work?
Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 Principle
and don’t worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated?
It will work out.

Use your worrying energy and time to find a new job.

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day.

Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out?
It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90/10 Principle.
Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90/10 Principle is incredible.
Very few know and apply this Principle.

The result?

You will see it by yourself!

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle.
It can change your life!

…Enjoy it...

It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience.

Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it’s like a Boomerang. It will come back to us...

If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first... Maybe we will end with our hands empty,
but our heart will be filled with love...

And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts …

Bertahan atau berundur?

Melalui emel:

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Konflik rumahtangga berterusan iaitu kecurangan pasangan
Di sini persoalannya mahu bertahan atau berundur?

Apabila berlaku konflik ini tentu sekali kewajipan
Terhadap isteri dan anak diabaikan.Perbelanj aan
Rumah tangga si isteri yang tanggung malahan
si isteri juga menanggung si suami termasuklah
Perbelanjaan si suami dengan teman wanitanya
Kerana pendapatan suami tidak mencukupi.
Si isteri betul-betul tertekan tetapi cubalah
Pertahan rumahtangga yang dibina dan jangan
Berundur.

Cuba usahakan tip pengerat cinta suami isteri ini.
Diambil dari laman :www.wanita2u. com

Mulakan dari sekarang :Mungkin pasangan akan rasa pelik
Atau janggal tetapi usaha yang baik jika tidak dimulai
Tentu rugi malah jika dilakukan berbaloi

*Cium tangan suami dan dahi isteri setiap kali sebelum
Berpisah ketempat kerja masing-masing.

*Jika berpisah lebih dari sehari seperti tugasan luar daerah,
Tambah rutin harian tadi dengan pelukan dan ciuman dibibir.

*Walau sesibuk mana sekalipun ,luangkan masa menelefon pasangan
Sekurang-kurangnya sekali walau sekadar untuk bertanya apa yang
Dilakukan.

*Sentiasa ucapkan kata-kata sayang seperti I Love You sepenuh hati
Sebelum keluar kemana-mana, menamatkan perbualan ditelefon dan
Sebelum tidur.

*Sentiasa mencari peluang untuk makan tengah hari bersama kerana
Pastinya ia tiada gangguan anak-anak jika pada hari bekerja.

*Amalkan bertanya apa yang berlaku sepanjang hari selepas pulang
Dari kerja sebagai tanda ambil berat dan memberi peluang pasangan
Meluahkan perasaan.

*Luangkan masa untuk berbual tentang apa saja dari isu rumahtangga
Hinggalah politik semasa sebelum tidur

*Mudah berbaik jika berlaku sebarang pertelingkahan, jangan biar berlarutan
Walau untuk satu jam sekalipun apatah berhari-hari.

*Teman Pasangan semasa menonton rangcangan kegemaran mereka walau sambil
Membaca akhbar misalnya,kerana apa yang penting ialah berada disisi
Pasangan.

*Jangan sesekali berpisah tempat tidur walau anak sudah berderet atau
Usia sudah meningkat kerana ia adalah salah satu amalan penting untuk
Mengeratkan kasih sayang.

*Amalkan solat berjemaah semasa dirumah,berdoa bersama serta bersalam-
Salaman selepas solat.

*Biasakan bergilir gelas atau pinggan semasa makan serta tidak segan
Atau geli untuk menghabiskan makanan atau minuman isteri atau suami.

*Sesekali,buatlah kejutan seperti membeli hadiah atau kad untuk
Peristiwa tertentu,memakai pakaian dalam yang seksi atau apa saja
Yang anda tahu pasangan pasti menyukai.

*Senda gurau dalam rumahtangga amat penting,ceritalah sesuatu yang
Kelakar,teka- teki atau apa sahaja yang membolehkan anda ketawa
Bersama.

Tawan hati pasangan semula,perbaiki diri kita,
Jika segala usaha daya telah dilakukan ,berdoa
Dan bertawakal.. .Tentu Masih Ada Kasih Sayang Bertaut.

Pincangnya satu-satu hubungan pasangan ialah kemesraan yang amat
kurang dan terlalu memendam perasaan .Apabila hal demikian mengambil
tempat,renungkan ...'dan berbuat baiklah,kerana sesungguhnya
ALLAH menyukai (mencintai) orang yang berbuat baik.'

Salah satu kaedah berbuat baik ialah saling memahami
dan komukasi hati ke hati.

SUNGAI DALAM LAUT

SUNGAI DALAM LAUT

"Dan Dialah yang membiarkan dua laut mengalir (berdampingan) ; yang ini tawar lagi segar dan yang lain masin lagi pahit; dan Dia jadikan antara keduanya dinding dan batas yang menghalangi." (Q.S Al Furqan:53)

Jika Anda termasuk orang yang gemar menonton rancangan TV `Discovery' pasti kenal Mr. Jacques Yves Costeau, ia seorang ahli oceanografer dan ahli selam terkemuka dari Perancis. Orang tua yang berambut putih ini sepanjang hidupnya menyelam ke perbagai dasar samudera di seantero dunia dan membuat filem dokumentari tentang keindahan alam dasar laut untuk ditonton di seluruh dunia.

Pada suatu hari ketika sedang melakukan eksplorasi di bawah laut, tiba-tiba ia menemui beberapa kumpulan mata air tawar-segar yang sangat sedap rasanya kerana tidak bercampur/tidak melebur dengan air laut yang masin di sekelilingnya, seolah-olah ada dinding atau membran yang membatasi keduanya.

Fenomena ganjil itu memeningkan Mr. Costeau dan mendorongnya untuk mencari penyebab terpisahnya air tawar dari air masin di tengah-tengah lautan. Ia mulai berfikir, jangan-jangan itu hanya halusinansi atau khalayan sewaktu menyelam. Waktu pun terus berlalu setelah kejadian tersebut, namun ia tak kunjung mendapatkan jawapan yang memuaskan tentang fenomena ganjil tersebut.

Sampai pada suatu hari ia bertemu dengan seorang profesor muslim, kemudian ia pun menceritakan fenomena ganjil itu. Profesor itu teringat pada ayat Al Quran tentang bertemunya dua lautan ( surat Ar-Rahman ayat 19-20) yang sering diidentikkan dengan Terusan Suez . Ayat itu berbunyi "Marajal bahraini yaltaqiyaan, bainahumaa barzakhun laa yabghiyaan.. ."Artinya: "Dia biarkan dua lautan bertemu, di antara keduanya ada batas yang tidak boleh ditembus." Kemudian dibacakan surat Al Furqan ayat 53 di atas.

Selain itu, dalam beberapa kitab tafsir, ayat tentang bertemunya dua lautan tapi tak bercampur airnya diertikan sebagai lokasi muara sungai, di mana terjadi pertemuan antara air tawar dari sungai dan air masin dari laut. Namun tafsir itu tidak menjelaskan ayat berikutnya dari surat Ar-Rahman ayat 22 yang berbunyi "Yakhruju minhuma lu'lu`u wal marjaan" ertinya "Keluar dari keduanya mutiara dan marjan." Padahal di muara sungai tidak
ditemukan mutiara.

Terpesonalah Mr. Costeau mendengar ayat-ayat Al Qur'an itu, melebihi kekagumannya melihat keajaiban pemandangan yang pernah dilihatnya di lautan yang dalam. Al Qur'an ini mustahil disusun oleh Muhammad yang hidup di abad ke tujuh, suatu zaman saat belum ada peralatan selam yang canggih untuk mencapai lokasi yang jauh terpencil di kedalaman samudera. Benar-benar suatu mukjizat, berita tentang fenomena ganjil 14 abad yang silam akhirnya terbukti pada abad 20. Mr. Costeau pun berkata bahawa Al Qur'an memang sesungguhnya kitab suci yang berisi firman Allah, yang seluruh kandungannyamutlak benar. Dengan seketika dia pun memeluk Islam.

Allahu Akbar...! Mr. Costeau mendapat hidayah melalui fenomena teknologi kelautan. Maha Benar Allah yang Maha Agung. Shadaqallahu Al `Azhim.Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: "Sesungguhnya hati manusia akan berkarat sebagaimana besi yang dikaratkan oleh air." Bila seorang bertanya, "Apakah caranya untuk menjadikan hati-hati ini bersih kembali?" Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, "Selalulah ingat mati dan membaca Al Quran."

Jika anda seorang penyelam, maka anda harus mengunjungi   Cenote Angelita, Mexico. Disana ada sebuah gua. Jika anda menyelam sampai kedalaman 30 meter, airnya air segar (tawar), namun jika anda menyelam sampai kedalaman lebih dari 60 meter, airnya menjadi air masin, lalu anda dapat melihat sebuah "sungai" di dasarnya, lengkap dengan pohon dan daun daunan.







Setengah pengkaji mengatakan, itu bukanlah sungai biasa, itu adalah lapisan hidrogen sulfida, nampak seperti sungai... luar biasa bukan? Lihatlah betapa hebatnya ciptaan Allah SWT.

Kenapa Kite Dilarang Menggunakan Handphone Ketika Mengisi Minyak?

Melalui emel:
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Kenapa Kite Dilarang Menggunakan Handphone Ketika Mengisi Minyak?????.....  

meh kite tengok ekspiremen sains kat bawah nie...untuk buktikan betapa bahaya nyer isi minyak sambil berbual atau sms pakai handphone...

sebelom tu, kite sediakan bahan2 serta alatan yang diperlukan.. Iaitu :-
1. Kuali sebijik...cari yang leper tu...
2. 3 bijik kad..kad manila pon buleh..tapi jangan pakai mycard, kad kredit ataupon kad ATM, mahupon sim card...
3. 1 rol kertas foil...kertas timah tu laa....yang macam bungkusan kedua corn flakes tu laa...
4. Handphone sebijik...dan pastikan gak ade kredit...
5. Minyak petrol sikit..kalo xnak beli kat stesen...curik jer kat moto abang, ayah atau adik korang...  


PASTU.....


susun kad tadi lebeh kurang macam nie...



letak plak kertas foil tu atas kad tadi..



letak petrol ckit...




TIBA-TIBA




api menyala !!!
peringatan,anda dinasihatkan untuk tidak mengunakan handphone ketika di stesen minyak.....

*********************

Nombor telefon kereta peronda lebuhraya

Melalui emel:
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Jika and diganggu atau ditimpa musibah di lebuhraya, terus hubungi nombor-nombor ini.  Walaubagaimanapun, no 999 tetap boleh digunakan, cuma nombor-nombor ini terus kepada kereta peronda.  Biasanya, kalau kita call 999, mereka akan minta no. telefon kita dan pusat operasi akan hubungi kereta peronda di lokasi kita dan peronda akan hubungi kita melalui nombor telefon yang dibekalkan dalam kereta peronda.  Proses ini ambil masa hampir 15 minit.  Oleh itu boleh terus call saja, mana tahu, kereta peronda itu berada dekat dengan kita.   

Bukit Kayu Hitam-Alor Setar-Sungai Petani   013-3836002

Butterworth- Kulim-Bandar Baru      013-3836003

Jawi-Changkat Jering- Ipoh      013-3836005

Ipoh-Tapah-Tanjung Malim     013-3837140

Tanjung Malim-Sungai Buloh-Bukit Raja    013-3836009

Sungai Besi-Seremban- Ayer Keroh, Seremban-Port Dickson       013-3837144

Ayer Keroh-Pagoh- Ayer Hitam     013-3837143

Ayer Hitam-Senai- JB, Taman Perling-Tg Kupang (Second Link)     013-3836016

KL-Klang, Shah Alam-Nilai-Sepang    013-3836017

Sri Petaling-Klang, Damansara-Puchong Sprint (Kerinchi Link)     013-3836018

KL-Karak   019-3244010

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Tips: Why good employee resigned?

Received from email.
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"People don't leave organisations; they leave their bosses."

This is an old cliche. According to a survey by badbossology.com, almost 71 per cent of employees look for new jobs because of problems with their bosses. A recent Gallup survey of over 1,000,000 employees found that, if a company was losing good people, the biggest reason was their immediate supervisors.

What makes it ironical is that, more often than not, it is your future boss who ends up taking your final interview. And while they try and understand the way you fit in with their teams, it is your responsibility to understand their management style as well. So, when you get an opportunity to turn the tables on them, here are some questions you must ask.

What are your key expectations from team members?

Often, as an answer to this question, most supervisors start by describing traits demonstrated by their favorite employees in the team. This can be a great clue to understanding what it is going to take to get into your boss's good books. If your boss-to-be says he wants team members to take initiative and perform independently, you know he is not going to micromanage and breathe down your neck everyday. If he says that they expect team members to 'go the extra mile' and work hard, you will spoil your impression by trying to sneak out of office early every day.

What does it take to succeed in a role like this?

This question will help you achieve two things. First, it will help you understand the standards your boss expects you to meet. Second, you will come across as someone who is keen on succeeding. You must also ask how success is measures in the team as it depends on a boss's managerial style. For instance, if it's a sales oriented position, will you be rewarded only for exceeding sales, or are there rewards for customer satisfaction, teamwork etc? Try and get specific answers from the employer, as this will be an indication of where you should focus your energies if you intend to take up the job.

Could you tell me more about the composition of the current team?

What you are really asking your boss-to-be is to describe the people in his team. This is a great question to check his or her people skills. You will find out if he or she invests enough time in knowing the team well. Watch out for what is said. Is there pride when he or she speaks about the team? Does the boss know a lot about the team members? Often, a good boss will take pride when describing his or her team, and this will reflect in the tone and enthusiasm. You don't want to work for someone who hardly bothers to connect with you as a person.

What is your personal management style?

Ideally, you would want to know the boss's problem-solving approach and the way he or she manages people and resources. Does the boss have a hands-on approach or prefer to delegate responsibilities? He or she may like to take charge and be in control all the time, or may trust the team completely and simply supervise. This is important to know or you may mistake the boss's enthusiasm to help you as interference with your work.

What has your experience with the company been like so far?

This is a tricky question, as almost every boss will try and give you a positive response. You need to watch out for body language, tone and overall attitude while they describe their experience. If they show indifference or give you a lukewarm response, it is an indication that what they say is just an attempt to get you into the organisation. If they have a smile on their faces and enjoy describing their experience, you shouldn't have any hesitation about working for them.

Even a great job can turn into a bad experience if you don't get along with the person you work for. Asking the right questions at the interview will save you from nasty surprises later.

***********************************

The Talents of a Middle-Aged Brain

The Talents of a Middle-Aged Brain

from: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/30/the-talents-of-a-middle-aged-brain/?no_interstitial

By TARA PARKER-POPE

After we hit 40, many of us begin to worry about our aging brains. Will we spend our middle years searching for car keys and forgetting names?

The new book “The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind,” by Barbara Strauch, has the answers, and the news is surprisingly upbeat. Sure, brains can get forgetful as they get old, but they can also get better with age, reports Ms. Strauch, who is also the health editor at The New York Times. Ms. Strauch, who previously tackled teenage brains in her book “The Primal Teen,” spoke with me this week about aging brains and the people who have them. Here’s our conversation:

Barbara Strauch

 

Q. After exploring the teenage brain, why did you decide to write a book about grown-ups?

A. Well, I have a middle-aged brain, for one thing. When I would go give talks about “The Primal Teen,” I’d be driven to the airport or back by a middle-aged person, and they’d turn to me and say: “You should do something about my brain. My brain is suddenly horrible. I can’t remember names.” That’s why I started looking into it. I had my own middle-aged issues like going into an elevator and seeing somebody and thinking, “Who are you?” 

 

Q. So what’s the bad news about the middle-aged brain?

A. Obviously, there are issues with short-term memory. There are declines in processing speed and in neurotransmitters, the chemicals in our brain. But as it turns out, modern middle age is from 40 to 65. During this long time in the middle, if we’re relatively healthy our brains may have a few issues, but on balance they’re better than ever during that period.

 

Q. Do teenage brains and middle-aged brains have much in common?

A. The thing the middle-aged brain shares with the teenage brain is that it’s still developing. It’s not some static blob that is going inexorably downhill. Scientists found that when they watched the brains of teenagers, the brains were expanding and growing and cutting back and shaping themselves, even when the kids are 25 years old. I think for many years scientists just left it at that. They thought that from 25 on, we just get “stupider.” But that’s not true. They’ve found that during this period, the new modern middle age, we’re better at all sorts of things than we were at 20.

 

Q. So what kinds of things does a middle-aged brain do better than a younger brain?

A. Inductive reasoning and problem solving — the logical use of your brain and actually getting to solutions. We get the gist of an argument better. We’re better at sizing up a situation and reaching a creative solution. They found social expertise peaks in middle age. That’s basically sorting out the world: are you a good guy or a bad guy? Harvard has studied how people make financial judgments. It peaks, and we get the best at it in middle age.

 

Q. Doesn’t that make sense, since our young adult lives are often marked by bad decisions?

A. I think most of us think that while we make bad decisions in our 20s, we also have the idea that we were the sharpest we ever were when we were in college or graduate school. People think if I tried to go to engineering school or medical school now, I couldn’t do it. Because of these memory problems that happen in middle age, we tend to think of our brains as, on the whole, worse than in our 20s. But on the whole, they’re better.

 

Q. So what’s happening in middle age that leads to these improvements?

A. What we have by middle age is all sorts of connections and pathways that have been built up in our brain that help us. They know from studies that humans and animals do better if they have a little information about a situation before they encounter it. By middle age we’ve seen a lot. We’ve been there, done that. Our brains are primed to navigate the world better because they’ve been navigating the world better for longer.

There also are some other physical changes that they can see. We used to think we lost 30 percent of our brain cells as we age. But that’s not true. We keep them. That’s probably the most encouraging finding about the physical nature of our brain cells.

Q. Is there anything you can do to keep your brain healthy and improve the deficits, like memory problems?

A. There’s a lot of hype in this field in terms of brain improvement. I did set out to find out what actually works and what we know. What we do with our bodies has a huge impact on our brains. Our brains are more like our hearts in that everything you do for your heart is thought to be equally as good or better for your brain. Exercise is the best studied thing you can do to your brain. It increases brain volume, produces new baby brain cells in grownup brains. Even when our muscles contract, it produces growth chemicals. Using your body can help your brain.

 

Q. What about activities like learning to play an instrument or learning a foreign language?

A. The studies on this are slim. We’ve all been told to do crossword puzzles. Learning a foreign language, walking a different way to work, all that is an effort to make the brain work hard. And it’s true we need to make our brains work hard. One of the most intriguing findings is that if you talk to people who disagree with you, that helps your brain wake up and refine your arguments and shake up the cognitive egg, which is what you want to do.

 

Q. Do social connections and relationships make a difference in how the brain ages?

A. There is a whole bunch of science about being social and how cognitive function seems to be better if you are social. There is a fascinating study in Miami where they studied people who lived in apartments. Those who had balconies where they could see their neighbors actually aged better cognitively than others. There are a whole bunch of studies like that. People who volunteer and help kids seem to age better and help their brains. We forget how difficult it is to meet, greet and deal with another human being. It’s hard on our brains and good for them.

 

Q. What was the most surprising thing you learned about the middle-aged brain?

A. The hope I saw from real scientists was surprising. A lot of the myths we think of in terms of middle age, myths that I grew up with, turn out to be based on almost nothing. Things like the midlife crisis or the empty nest syndrome. We’re brought up to think we’ll enter middle age and it will be kind of gloomy. But as scientists look at real people, they find out the contrary. One study of men found that well-being peaked at age 65. Over and over they find that middle age, instead of being a time of depression and decline, is actually a time of being more optimistic overall. 

 

 

HOT SPOT CRIME AREAS IN KL

(source: email)

Please take note of these few   HOT SPOT CRIME AREAS IN KL
1        Lebuh Ampang  Bus Stop Near The Indian Restaurants - Snatch Thief Area, 

victims are normally  Malay and Indian girls who are alone and not aware. Sexy Indian Girls, please be extra careful if you are to say a word, they will insult you with vulgar words or even slap  your face if you put up a fight.

2        Jalan Ampang - Menara Great Eastern / Great Eastern Mall 

If you are approached by anyone - men or women asking for direction or time, please be ALERT if any cars or motobike that comes near you. Stop you conversation and run for your for your life, if not be ready to scream or if you have a spray get it ready. Tag Team Ahli Gusti Jahat Gang will either snatch your handbag / handphone or sepak you if they can't get anything from you. If you are too sexy - they will bundle you into their car or molest you on the spot.
Kaum lelaki jangan tergoda / noda dengan kecantikan / seksi gadis tersebut - padah teruk akan menanti anda, nak muka anda pecah cubalah!!,  melainkan anda pun ada gang to fight back [ They work in a team of  4 to 6 person]. THE GIRL IS THEIR DECOY [UMPAN] to rob their unsuspecting victims.

3        Changkat Thambi Dollah Off Jalan Pudu - Bus Stop and Wisma Shaw Areas  

Lots of Mat Rempits who hang around the bus stop area to snatch your handbag. Thoese who drive to this area and to Wisma Shaw for shopping or Cari Makan, Please park your car at a safe                 parking area. Tepi Jalan parking areas can be not safe - Taiko Tai might force you to remove your car or they will park to block your car. Any words you say to them might end-up  you getting a good bash -up.[They have areas whereby only gang leaders can park their cars]

4        Jalan Pudu From Swiss Garden Hotel to Hentian Pudu Raya and Menara Maybank                 4.1        Ladies please takecare of your handbag and your handphone when you place it near your ears - Mat Rempit Gang will  Zoooom near you and roughly snatch it from you. You might just fall down due to the impact of it and hurt your head by hitting the ground.
        4.2        When withdrawing cash from the banks ATM  [Ambank or Maybank] Please look around first b4 you do your withdrawal, IF YOU NOTICE someone looking at you or suspicious to you, then you have to be extra careful, ok !. There is this GERAK KILAT gang who in a split second would be near you and snatch or point a knife at you to handover the money, some even force their victims to withdraw from their victims other ATM  banks.[Acording to my not so reliable source - they were one or two female victoms who were rape and dumped at Setapak and Kepong area]
        4.3        Boarding of Taxi or Unkown Person Car - Please take note of the route the drivers is taking you, was told if you are taken to a wrong road then you would end-up as a Rape victim or if you are a guy, hehehe.. you would be cash strip / burnt in a car.[My best friend lately was a victim,    lost his Rolex Watch, Weeding Ring and ATM's Card ].
        4.4        Ok, Ladies if you think that its safe to be on a motorbike with your Macho Guy that fine, but be ware of motorbikes beside you, they might be snatchers who will snatch your bag and Zoom away

  5        Wangsa Maju Putra LRT  and TAR College Area   A New Gangster Area  this area have now become worst than Jinjang, Balakong or Puchong .Groups of youths will do anything to harm you for just a matter of cents or dislike personality. Dont stare or look2 at them, all you will know is that they will just simply stab you with a penknife or a dagger.
6        Kepong, Selayang, Sentul Timur LRT and Wangsa Maju - Un Known Part Time Taxi Drivers or Stolen Taxi Waiting for You To Be Their Victims - Ladies if you are alone, please DO NOT board a taxi if you think the driver is not pleasant. If you have withdrawan money from the bank or that you are sexy please ENSURE that the driver dosen't  use the central locking of his taxi and driving you to a right route.[You have the full rights to ask the taxi driver  not to use the centeral locking - Winddown the windows if he does not obey to you].         Macho Guy you to can be a victim cash and valuables.

Too Much to Do, Too Little Time By: Brian Tracy

The most common form of stress that we experience is the feeling of being overwhelmed with far too much to do and having too little time to do it in.

In fact, "time poverty" is the biggest single problem facing most managers in America today. We simply do not have enough time to fulfill all our responsibilities. Because of budget limitations, staff cutbacks, downsizing, and competitive pressures, individual managers are forced to take on more and more work, all of which appears to be indispensable to the smooth functioning of our company or department.

Become an Expert

The solution to this problem of work overload is for you to become an expert on time management. There is probably no other skill that you can learn that will give you a "bigger bang for the buck" than to become extremely knowledgeable and experienced in using time management practices.

Be Open to New Ideas

The most foolish manager of all is either the manager who feels that he has no time to learn about time management or, even worse, the manager who, while being overwhelmed with work, feels that he already knows all that he needs to know about the subject.

"Learn Faster. Read Faster. Remember More."

Do you forget things you read last week...even things you read last night?
How would you like to learn faster and remember more? Learn to harness the amazing mental powers within you, now YOU can accomplish any goal, overcome any obstacles and solve any problem you face.

Never Stop Learning

The fact is that you can study time management and take time management courses for your entire business life and you will still never learn everything you need to know to get the most out of yourself while doing your
job in the most efficient way.

The Keys to Time Management

The two indispensable keys to time management are:1) the ability to set priorities; and 2) the ability to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time. Since there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done, you must be continually setting priorities on your activities.

Perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over, is, "what is the most valuable use of my time right now?"

The Best Question of All

This question, "what is the most valuable use of my time right now?" will do more to keep you on track, hour by hour, than any other single question in the list of time management strategies.

The natural tendency for all of us is to major in minors and to give in to the temptation to clear up small things first. After all, small things are easier and they are often more fun than the big, important things that
represent the most valuable use of your time.

Start With Your Top Tasks

However, the self-discipline of organizing your work and focusing on your highest value tasks is the starting point of getting your time under control and lowering your stress levels.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to get your time under control.

First, make a decision today to become an expert on time management. Read the books, listen to the audio programs, and take a time management course. Then, practice, practice, practice every day until you master time management skills.

Second, set clear priorities on your work each day, before you begin. Then, discipline yourself to start on your most important task and stay at that until it is complete. This will relieve much of your stress immediately.

Terimalah kekurangan Suami seadanya

Terimalah kekurangan Suami seadanya
Seorang isteri mengadu begini kepada saya,
" Suami saya bukanlah seperti yg saya gambarkan sewaktu belum berkahwin. Dia amat berbeza daripada penampilannya dahulu. Sekarang dia bukan sahaja gagal membahagiakan saya malah sering menjadikan saya kesal mempersuamikannya. Ingin sekali saya meninggalkannya, tapi tak berupaya kerana memikirkan anak2 dan masa depan saya sendiri, walaupun ada lelaki yang sedia mengambil saya di luar sana. Saya seperti terperangkap oleh kedunguan masa lalu. Kekal be rsamanya bererti saya selamanyalah tidak akan berasa bahagia. Apa yang boleh saya lakukan sekarang?

Lalu saya bertanya,
Skrg puan nak yang mana? Kekal bersamanya atau mengikut lelaki lain? Maksud saya mana yang lebih berat? Kalau awak tanyakan yang mana lebih berat, tentulah bersamanya lebih berat. Kalau begitu, mengapa tidak pejamkan mata, bayangkan yang indah2, anggaplah dia satu2nya lelaki yang ada di dunia ini dan binalah kebahagiaan bersama. Isteri itu seperti terkejut dgn saranan saya.

Barangkali dia mengharapkan satu cadangan yang lebih memihak kepada gelojak hatinya untuk memilih lelaki lain, berdasarkan kebahagiaan yang sudah gagal dikecapinya sekarang.

Lalu saya perjelaskan,
Kalaulah kebahagiaan yang menjadi persoalan, belum tentu pilihan seterusnya akan menjaminkan kebahagiaan. Barangkali bersama lelaki kedua masalah lebih menimpa. Kalau nanti perkahwinan kedua itu juga gagal memberikan kebahagiaan, apakah anda akan berkahwin buat kali ketiga? Jika tak bahagia juga, anda akan berkahwin pula buat kali keempat? Kemudian kelima, keenam ? Sampai bila?

Hidup bukankah untuk dinikmati? Usia bukanlah lama untuk dipersiakan dengan hal-hal yang tidak sepatutnya. Siapapun dia, dia adalah lelaki yang bergelar `SUAMI'. Kebahagiaan adalah satu istilah yang telah terbentuk. Tinggal bagaimana kita mendefinasikan kebahagiaan itu sahaja yang menyebabkan sesetengah drpd kita gagal berasa bahagia.

Alangkah ruginya kalau hidup yang singkat ini kita gagal mendapat bahagia. Semata2 kerana menyangka kebahagiaan itu akan dinikmati jika bersama orang sekian-sekian. Semata-mata kerana menyangka Si Dia boleh memberi bahagia yang diimpi-impikan. Kalau meleset bagaimana? Kalau kebahagiaan yang diidam-idamkan itu tidak diperoleh sdgkan kebahagiaan yang sedia ada ini telah ditinggalkan, bagaimana?

Setelah anda diijabkabulkan, satu perjanjian telah dibentuk. Anda telah merelakan diri anda bergelar ISTERI dan rela memanggil org berkenaan yang tiada langsung pertalian dengan anda sebelumnya sebagai suami. Anda merelakan segalanya kepada dia dan demikian dia terhadap anda. Setelah diikat dengan tali perkahwinan, mengapa tidak pejamkan mata dan anggaplah dia pasangan yang terbaik. Dia mmg dijadikan buat anda. Dia adalah segala-galanya. Bentuklah kebahagiaan bersamanya.

JANGAN mimpi-mimpikan lagi org lain selain dia.
JANGAN angan-angankan perkara yang bukan-bukan.
INGAT!!!!.. Anda dijadikan dari tulang rusuk dia.. Relakan diri anda untuk bertolak ansur dlm beberapa hal untuk mencari kesukaan dan kebencian bersama. Relakan membina bahagia dan dialah alatnya.

Masalah yang sering menimpa pasangan muda ialah masing2 gagal memantau
imaginasi untuk membentuk bahagia pada awal perkahwinan. Setelah segalanya dilalui dan masalah menapak di sana sini, barulah sedar sesuatu sepatutnya dilakukan lebih awal dahulu. Tetapi nyata sudah terlambat, imaginasi bersama mekanisme-mekanisme nya telah dipersia-siakan. Bahagia kelihatan tetapi sudah tidak terjangkau dek tangan. Kesudahannya, bahagia disangka berada di luar dan mahu diburu walhal sebenarnya bahagia sudah berada di tangan, hanya gagal mengenal dan menikmatinya sahaja.

Selagi mana SUAMI anda itu masih menjalankan tanggungjawabnya, maksud saya dia masih ingat rumah, ingat anak-anak dan ingat untuk mencari rezeki, dia masih seorang lelaki yang boleh diharapkan. Apatahlagi jika dia seorang yang tidak meninggalkan ibadah-ibadah fardu, kekurangan-kekurang an yang ada pada dirinya hanyalah sekadar kekurangan untuk membenarkan kata-kata    "NO MAN IS PERFECT".

Mums, stop feeling guilty about working or staying home

31 March 2010

CHILDWISE
By RUTH LIEW

I HAVE often been asked: “Who is better – the working mother or stay-at-home mother?” Mothers who want to quit working, want to know whether they are making the right choice. While mothers who are full-time home-makers want to know how it will affect their children when they join the workforce.

Whether working or stay-at-home, all mothers share the same fears and concerns. They wonder whether they are feeding their children right or spending enough time teaching them the right values.

You should always feel that you are doing your best for the children. Whether you work or stay at home, you are a full-time mother. There is no place for guilt. If you look after your children with knowledge, skill, love and patience, you are the kind of mother that deserves the highest recognition.

I grew up with a working mother whose own mother was a stay-at-home parent. When I was growing up, my mother and my grandmother often differed in their views on how children should be disciplined or how to manage certain behaviours.

Whenever my mother went on annual leave, we felt that she was cramping a year of parenting into a few short weeks. She made us clean our rooms and gave us extra written work for practice. We were quite relieved whenever she returned to work.

My siblings and I felt much better when Mother was at work. We wanted her to leave us to our own devices. When she was juggling work and raising us, she shared her time with us doing what really mattered. She took us on educational trips and introduced us to arts and culture.

My mother fared better outside the house. She also worked because we needed the extra income.

She could hardly cook but she took us out to great eateries to try out international cuisine. Sewing was not her forte either.

There were many things she did not do but my mother’s mothering style provided us with a great deal more.

We learned to do many things that she could not do. I started cooking at a young age because my mother encouraged me by buying as many cookbooks as she could afford.

Mothers get criticised for their choices. When they choose to work outside the home, many would frown on them and blame them for all the wrongs their children did because they were not able to stay home to spend time with their children.

When my children were babies, I had one stay-at-home mother who asked whether I breastfed my children. She also told me that I would not have much time for my children because of my busy schedule.

A mother who chooses to stay at home with her children is often misunderstood as someone who could not do much outside the home. I know of many well-educated and capable women who are home-makers.

I once met a lady who was conducting a survey on households.

She asked: “Madam, you don’t work outside the home. What is your educational background? Did you finish secondary school?” She looked surprised when I told her I had post-graduate qualifications. She had assumed that I was a stay-at-home mother because I had little education.

I used to have a neighbour who was a stay-at-home mother. Every day I could hear her screaming at her crying son. She was not happy and neither was her young son. She felt stressed out and lonely staying home the whole day with a young child.

What children really want is a happy mother, regardless of whether she is a career woman or a home-maker.

We raise our daughters on limitless possibilities of career choices. We must support them in the choices they make.

Children thrive on their mother’s love; there is no discrimination whether this love comes from a working mother or a stay-at-home one.

Be confident and trust that what you have chosen for yourself is also the best for your child.

Contohi Nabi s.a.w dalam mempraktikkan kemesraan suami-isteri

Artikel di bawah diambil berdasarkan satu email yang dihantar ke mailing list ummiku-sayang@yahoogroups.com pada  Wednesday, April 7, 2010 1:12 AM


" Kemesraan hubungan antara suami isteri tentunya merupakan dambaan setiap keluarga. Kemesraan bukan hanya ada pada ketika suami isteri melakukan hubungan seksual ( jima' ) sahaja, akan tetapi ada banyak perkara yang dapat menjadikan hubungan suami isteri mesra dan harmoni. "

Perkara ini terkadang tidak disedari, sehingga jarang dilakukan secara sedar untuk menjaga kemesraan tersebut. Padahal bila dilakukan dengan niat yang benar akan dapat menambah kemesraan, mendapat pahala dan sekaligus dapat menghapus dosa-dosa.

Kita sebagai muslim patut bersyukur, kerana Rasulullah SAW sebagai contoh terbaik kita telah memberikan petunjuk yang lengkap termasuk dalam perkara menjaga kemesraan hubungan suami isteri. Dengan demikian kita tidak perlu mencari-cari sumber lain yang terkadang justeru menjerumuskan ke dalam perkara-perkara yang melanggar syari'at. Beberapa perkara yang dituntunkan Rasulullah SAW dalam menjaga kemesraan hubungan suami isteri antara lain :

a. Bergandingan Tangan

Bergandingan tangan ( saling memegang tangan ) kelihatannya merupakan perkara remeh yang kadang dilupakan oleh pasangan suami isteri. Padahal bila ini dilakukan dengan lemah lembut dan perasaan kasih sayang yang mendalam, merupakan satu perkara yang dapat menjadikan suasana semakin mesra bagi pasangan tersebut.

Ini amat bermanfaat jika sebelumnya ada perkara-perkara yang kurang menyenangkan, sehingga untuk membicarakannya perlu suasana yang tenang dan penuh kasih sayang.

Yang lebih penting lagi, bila dilakukan dengan niat untuk mencari keredhaan Allah, ketika seorang suami memegang tangan isterinya dengan penuh kasih sayang, dosa-dosa mereka akan keluar melalui celah-celah jari tangan mereka, seperti yang diriwayatkan dalam hadith dari Abu Sa'id.

Mari kita renungkan sejenak :

" Sungguh apabila seorang suami memandang isterinya ( dengan rasa kasih sayang ) dan isterinya juga memandang suaminya ( dengan rasa kasih sayang ), maka Allah akan memandang keduanya dengan pandangan kasih sayang. Dan apabila suami memegang tapak tangan isterinya, maka dosa-dosa mereka keluar dari celah-celah jari mereka. "

b. Membelai

Perkara yang kedua yang dicontohkan Rasulullah SAW, yang menambah kemesraan hubungan suami isteri adalah membelai. Dengan belaian yang lembut penuh kasih sayang dari suaminya, seorang isteri akan merasakan ketenangan batin, sehingga perkara ini dapat menjadikan dia semakin sayang kepada suaminya. Perkara ini dilakukan Rasulullah SAW kepada para isterinya, sekalipun beliau belum akan mencampurinya. Abu Dawud meriwayatkan sebuah hadith dari sahabat : " Rasulullah SAW biasa setiap hari tidak melupakan untuk mengunjungi kami ( para isterinya ) seorang demi seorang. Beliau menghampirinya dan membelainya, sekalipun tidak mencampurinya, sehingga sampai ke tempat isteri yang tiba gilirannya, lalu bermalam disitu. "
HR. Abu Dawud

Perkara ini kadang tidak dilakukan oleh pasangan suami isteri, kerana mungkin dinilai memperlakukan isteri seperti kanak-kanak, atau memang belum mengetahui bahawa perkara ini sebenarnya diperlukan isteri untuk menunjukkan kasih sayangnya.

c. Mencium

Ada cara lain untuk menciptakan suasana kemesraan suami isteri yang juga dicontohkan Rasulullah SAW, diantaranya adalah beliau mencium isterinya sekalipun ia sedang berpuasa. Berciuman merupakan cara sederhana dan mudah dilakukan untuk tetap menjaga kemesraan suami isteri.

Berciuman tidak hanya dilakukan ketika akan melakukan hubungan seksual. Perkara ini baik juga dilakukan pada saat terlarang untuk berhubungan seksual. Mithalnya ketika sedang berpuasa dan saat isteri sedang haid atau nifas. Pada saat-saat itu kemesraan tetap harus dijaga. Sebuah hadith yang diriwayatkan oleh Muslim dalam kitab shahihnya : Dari Umar bin Abu Salamah, sungguh ia pernah bertanya kepada Rasulullah SAW : " Apakah seorang yang berpuasa boleh mencium?"

Beliau menjawab : Tanyakan kepada orang ini ( maksudnya Ummu Salamah ) .

Lalu ( Ummu Salamah ) memberitahukan bahawa Rasulullah sering berbuat begitu. "
HR. Muslim

Dalam beberapa riwayat lain juga dijelaskan bahawa Rasulullah SAW pernah mencium isterinya setelah beliau berwudhu sebelum menjalankan sholat.

d. Tidur Seranjang

Jika suami isteri tidur seranjang, tentunya lebih banyak perkara yang dilakukan dalam bermesraan. Dengan tidur satu ranjang memungkinkan mereka saling berdakapan dan berpelukan. Perkara ini menjadikan keduanya merasa tenteram dan tenang. Perkara ini juga dapat menjadi wacana hiburan atau penyegaran setelah melakukan tugas rutin sehari-harian.

Mengingatkan pentingnya tidur seranjang ini, maka Rasulullah SAW mencontohkan bahawa, beliau tetap tidur seranjang dengan isterinya sekalipun isterinya sedang haidh, seperti diceritakan pada sebuah hadith : Dari Aisyah RA, ujarnya : " Rasulullah SAW dahulu biasa menyuruh kami berkain, lalu beliau sentuhkan dirinya padaku, padahal saya sedang haidh. "
HR. Bukhari dan Muslim

Sebaliknya seorang isteri yang tidak bersedia tidur seranjang akan mendapat laknat malaikat, sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah SAW pada hadith berikut : Dari Abu Hurairah RA, ia berkata : " Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda : " Jika seorang isteri semalaman tidur memisahkan diri dengan suaminya, maka malaikat melaknatnya hingga subuh. "
HR. Bukhari

e. Mandi Bersama

Mandi bersama juga merupakan perkara penting untuk menjaga kemesraan suami isteri. Mandi bersama dapat menjadikan hiburan yang menyenangkan sekaligus menyegarkan. Rasulullah SAW sebagai tauladan kita juga mencontohkan mandi bersama isterinya, sebagaimana diriwayatkan pada hadith berikut : Dari Aisyah RA, ia berkata : "Aku biasa mandi bersama Rasulullah SAW dalam satu tempat mandi. Antara tanganku dan tangan beliau saling bergantian mengambil air, tetapi beliau mendahului aku, sehingga aku berkata : ' Sisakan untukku, sisakan untukku '. Ketika itu kami sedang junub. "
HR. Bukhari dan Muslim

Di samping sebagai perantaraan menambah kemesraan hubungan suami isteri, seorang isteri yang memandikan suaminya dengan niat mencari redha Allah akan mendapatkan rahmat. Perkara ini dijelaskan pada hadith berikut : Dari Aisyah RA, ia berkata : " Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda : " Semuga Allah merahmati suami yang dimandikan isterinya dan ditutup ( kekurangan ) akhlaknya. "
HR. Baihaqi

Itulah beberapa perkara yang dapat kita lakukan untuk menambah kemesraan hubungan suami isteri sesuai dengan tuntunan Rasulullah SAW, dengan harapan kita mendapat pahala dan sekaligus dosa-dosa kita diampuni.

A great Muslimah, Aminah Assilmi, passed away on Saturday, 6th March 2010

May Allah SWT grant her mercy and make her grave spacious and make it a piece of Jannah, Ameen.

Source of the following article is taken from:
http://www.famousmuslims.com/Aminah%20Assilmi.htm

Renowned female Scholar: Aminah Assilmi

Aminah assilmi was a renowned female scholar of Islam she traveled around the United States to give lectures , her personal story has admired hundreds of individuals ,she was also President of International Union of Muslim Women , the organization that has many achievements under its belt.

"I am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is the beat of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through my veins. Islam is my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful. Without Islam I am nothing, and should Allah ever turn His magnificent face from me, I could not survive." Aminah Assilmi

It all started with a computer glitch.

She was a Southern Baptist girl, a radical feminist, and a broadcast journalist. She was a girl with an unusual caliber, who excelled in school, received scholarships, ran her own business, and were competing with professionals and getting awards – all these while she was going to college. Then one day a computer error happened that made her take up a mission as a devout Christian. Eventually, however, it resulted into something opposite and changed her life completely around.

It was 1975 when for the first time computer was used to pre-register for a class in her college. She was working on her degree on Recreation. She pre-registered for a class and then went to Oklahoma City to take care of a business. Her return was delayed and she came back to college two weeks into the class. Making up the missed work was no problem for her, but she was surprised to find that the computer mistakenly registered her for a Theatre class, a class where students would be required to perform in front of others. She was a very reticent girl and she was horrified to think about performing in front of others. She could not drop the class for it was too late

Failing the class was also not a choice, for she was receiving a scholarship that was paying for her tuition and receiving an ‘F’ would have jeopardized it.

Advised by her husband, she went to her teacher to work out some other alternative to performing, such as preparing costumes, etc. Assured by the teacher that he would try to help her, she went to the next class and was shocked by what she saw. The class was full of Arabs and “camel jockeys”. That was enough for her. She came back home and decided not to go back to the class anymore. It was not possible for her to be in the middle of Arabs. “There was no way I was going to sit in a room full of dirty heathens!”

Her husband was calm as usual. He pointed out to her that God has a reason for everything and that she should think about more before quitting. Besides, there was the scholarship that was paying her tuition. She went behind locked doors for 2 days to think about. When she came out, she decided to continue the class. She felt that God gave her a task to convert the Arabs into Christianity.

Thus she found herself with a mission to accomplish. Throughout the class, she would be discussing Christianity with her Arab classmates. “I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their hearts.” They still did not convert, and so she decided to do something else: “I decided to read their own book to show to them that Islam was a false religion and Mohammed was a false Prophet”.

At her request, one student gave her a copy of the Qur’an and another book on Islam. With these two books she started on her research, which she was to continue for the next one and half years. She read the Qur’an fully and another fifteen books on Islam. Then she came back to the Qur’an and re-read it. During her research, she started taking notes that she found objectionable and which she would be able to use to prove that Islam was a false religion.

Unconsciously, however, she was changing from within which did not escape the attention of her husband. “I was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant.” She stopped drinking and eating pork. Her husband suspected her of having an affair with another man, for “it was only for a man that a woman changes”. Ultimately, she was asked to leave, and she soon found herself living in a separate apartment

"When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced me that I would finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because of Islam."

Throughout these times, she continued studying Islam and although she was changing subtly from within, she remained a devout Christian. Then one day, there was a knock on her door. It was a man in traditional Muslim robe, who appeared to her as a “man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table cloth on his head”. His name was Abdul-Aziz Al-Sheik and he was accompanied by three other men in similar dress. She was very offended by Muslim men coming to her in nightgowns and pajamas. She was further shocked when Abdul-Aziz told her that he understood that she waited to be a Muslim. She replied that she was a Christian and she did not have any plan to become a Muslim. However, she had some questions to ask if they had the time.

At her invitation, they came inside. She now brought up the questions and objections that she noted down while she was researching. “I will never forget his name”, she said of Abdul-Aziz who proved to be a very patient and soft-mannered person. “He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly or that a question was stupid.” Abdul-Aziz listened to every question and objection and explained it within the proper context. “He explained that Allah had told us to seek knowledge and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it was like watching a rose open – petal by petal, until it reached its full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with something and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. Then he would show me how to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fuller understanding.”

It would not be long before she would externally submit to what she had already been submitting to internally during the last one and half years. Later in that same day, this Southern Baptist girl would declare in front of Abdul-Aziz and his companions: “I bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger.” It was May 21, 1977.

Conversion to Islam, or to any other religion for that matter, is not always a simple thing to do. Except for a few fortunate ones, a new Muslim usually face consequences. The convert may face isolation from family and friends, if not pressure to go back to the family faith. Sometimes, a convert may even face sever economic hardship, as in the case of those who are asked to leave the house because of converting to Islam. Some converts are fortunate to continue to be well respected by family and friends, but most of them face minor to severe hardship especially during the first few years after the conversion.

But the difficulty that Aminah Assilimi had to go through and the sacrifice that she had to make for the sake of her conviction and faith is almost unheard of. There are few who could rely so much on Allah as she did, standing firm and meeting the challenges, making sacrifices, and yet maintaining a positive posture and influencing people around with the beauty of what she found and believed in.

She lost most of her friends, for she was “no fun anymore”. Her mother did not accept her becoming a Muslim and hoped that it was a temporary zeal and that she would soon grow out of it. Her “mental health expert” sister thought that she lost her mind. She attempted to put her in a mental health institution.

Her father was a calm and wise man. People would come to him for advice and he could comfort anyone in distress. But when he heard that his daughter became a Muslim, he loaded his double-barrel shotgun and started on his way to kill her. “It is better that she be dead rather than suffering in the deepest of Hell”, he said.

She was now without friends and without family.

She soon started wearing hijab. The day she put it on, she was denied her job. She was now without family, friends, and job. But her greatest sacrifice was yet to come.

She and her husband both loved each other very much. But while she was studying Islam, her husband misunderstood her for her apparent changes. She became quieter and stopped going to the bar. Her changes were visible to him and he suspected her of having affair with another man, for whom she must have been changing. She could not explain to him what was happening. “There was no way to make him understand what was changing me because I did not know.” Eventually he asked her to leave and she started living separately.

After she openly accepted Islam, it went worse. A divorce was now inevitable. This was a time when Islam was little known, much less understood for what it is. She had two little children whom she loved dearly and whose custody should have rightfully be given to her. But in a grave violation of justice, she was denied their custody just because she became a Muslim. Before giving the formal verdict, the judge offered her a harsh choice: either renounce Islam and get custody of the children, or keep Islam and leave the children. She was given 20 minutes to make a decision.

She loved her children very dearly. It is perhaps the worst nightmare that a mother can have: asked to willfully leave her child - not for one day, month, or year, but forever. On the other hand, how could she keep the Truth away from her children and live as a hypocrite? “It was the most painful 20 minutes in my life”, she said in an interview. Those of us who are mothers and fathers, especially of young children, little imagination is needed to feel the pain and torment that she must have passed every second in those 20 minutes. What added further to her pain was that according to doctors, she could never bear another child because of certain complications. “I prayed like I had never done before … I knew that there was no safer place for my children to be than in the hands of Allah. If I denied Him, there would be no way in the future to show my children the wonders of being with Allah.”

She decided to retain Islam. Her two dear children – one little boy and one little girl – were taken away from her and given to her ex-husband.

For a mother, is there a sacrifice greater than this – a sacrifice that is done for no material reason but only for faith and conviction?

“I left the court knowing that life without my babies would be very difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the right thing” . She found comfort in the following verse of the Qur'an:

There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory). (Quran 2: 255)

Perhaps the air of Colorado was too thin for justice. Or perhaps there was a plan in Allah’s greater scheme of affairs. Aminah Assilimi later fought back and took her case to the media. Although she did not get custody of her children again, a change was made in the Colorado law that one cannot be denied child custody on the basis of his or her religion.

Indeed Allah’s love and mercy engulfed her so much that, as if, she has been granted the touchstone of Islam. Wherever she goes, people are touched by her beautiful words and Islamic manners and become Muslim.

By accepting Islam, she became a changed person, and a much better person. So much so that her family, relatives, and people around her started appreciating her mannerism and the faith that brought about such changes in her. Despite her family’s initial reaction, she remained in touch with them and addressed them with respect and humility, just as the Qur’an enjoins the Muslims to do. She would send cards to her parents on different occasions, but she would always write down a verse from the Qur’an or the Hadith without mentioning the source of such beautiful words of wisdom. It was not long before she started making a positive influence among her family members.

The first to become Muslim was her grand mother. She was over 100 years old. Soon after accepting Islam, she died. “The day she pronounced Shahada, all her misdeeds had been erased, while her good deeds were preserved. She died so soon after accepting Islam that I knew her “book” was bound to be heavy on the good side. It fills me with such a joy!”

Next to become Muslim was her father, the one who wanted to kill her after she became Muslim. Thus he brought alive the story of Umar ibn Khattab. Umar was a companion of the Prophet who persecuted the early Muslims before he converted to Islam. When he heard one day that his sister became a Muslim, he went out with an open sword to kill her. But upon hearing some of the verses from the Qur’an that his sister was reciting, he recognized the truth and went straight to the Prophet and accepted Islam.

Two years after she (Assilmi) accepted Islam, her mother called and said that she appreciated her faith and hoped that she would keep it. Couple of years later, she called again and asked her about what one would need to do to become a Muslim. Assilmi replied that one had to believe that there is only One God and Muhammad was his Messenger. “Any fool knows that. But what do you have to do?”, she asked again. She replied that if that is what she believed, then she was already a Muslim! At this, her mother said, “Well … OK. But let’s not tell your father just yet”.

She was not aware that her husband (Assilmi’s step father) had the same conversation with her a few weeks earlier. Thus the two lived together as Muslims for years in secret without knowing that the other was also a Muslim. Her sister who wanted to put her in mental institution accepted Islam as well. She must have realized that becoming Muslim is indeed the most healthy and sound thing to do.

Her son, upon becoming adult, accepted Islam. When he turned 21, he called her and said that he wanted to become a Muslim.

Sixteen years after the divorce, her ex-husband also accepted Islam. He said that he had been watching her for sixteen years and wanted his daughter to have the same religion that she had. He came to her and apologized for what he had done. He was a very nice gentlemen and Assilimi had forgiven him long ago.

Perhaps the greatest reward for her was yet to come. Assilmi later married another person, and despite the doctors’ verdict that she could never conceive another child, Allah blessed her with a beautiful boy. If Allah (swt) makes a gift to someone, who can prevent Him? It was truly a wonderful blessing from Allah (swt), and so she named him “Barakah

The sacrifice that Assilmi made for the sake of Allah (swt) was tremendous. And so Allah (swt) turned in mercy to her and rewarded her with enormous blessings. Her family discarded her after she accepted Islam, and now by Allah’s mercy, most of them are Muslim. She lost her friends because of Islam, and now she is being loved by so many. “Friends who loved came out of nowhere”, she said. Allah’s blessings came upon her so much that wherever she goes people are touched by the beauty of Islam and accept the Truth. Both Muslims and non-Muslims now come to her for advice and counseling.

She lost her job because of wearing hijab, and now she is the President of the International Union of Muslim Women. She delivers lectures nationwide and is on high demand. It was her organization that successfully lobbied for the “Eid Stamp” and had it approved by the United States Postal Service, but it took many years of work. She is now working on making the Eid Day as a national holiday.

She had tremendous trust on Allah’s love and mercy and she never looses faith on Him. She was once diagnosed with cancer some years ago. Doctors said that it was in an advanced stage and that she would live for another year. But her faith in Allah (swt) remained strong. “We must all die. I was confident that the pain I was experiencing contained blessings.” As a brilliant example of how much one can love Allah, she mentions about a friend of her named Kareem Al-Misawi who died of cancer when he was in his 20’s:

"Shortly before he died, he told me that Allah was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and was radiating with Allah’s love. He said: “Allah intends that I should enter heaven with a clean book.” His death experience gave me something to think about. He taught me of Allah’s love and mercy."

Aminah Assilmi, a national Muslim community activist, scholar and leader who died 6th March 2010 in a car accident outside of Newport, Tenn. She was returning with her son from a speaking engagement in New York. Her son, who was injured in the accident, was taken to a hospital in Knoxville.

BECAREFUL, y'all: Frauds involving GPS and Mobile Phones

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: "Nur Ilham" <>
To: "ryati2009" <>, "resipidotnet"
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 12:25:27 PM
Subject: [RNet] TRIVIA: Frauds involving GPS and Mobile Phones



Dear All,

FYI and a good reminder to us too. Not to take things for granted!

This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.

GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their
car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was
parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and
specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car
included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had
been prominently mounted on the dashboard.

When the victims got home, they found that their house had been
ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.

The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then
used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry
to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game,
they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew
how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that
they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents..

Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address
in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can
still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know
where you live if your GPS were stolen.

MOBILE PHONES
I never thought of this.......

This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her
mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which
contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen.

20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling
him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about
our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'

When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the
money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen
cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin
number.. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their
bank account.

Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your
contact list.

Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....

And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through
texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them
somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from
them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to
meet 'family and friends' who text you.

*PLEASE PASS THIS ON
* I never thought about the above!
As of now, I no longer have 'home' listed on.